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Dayspring

Nov 27
Love0

How to Help Your Teen Become a Happy, Productive Adult

By Parenting No Comments

Adolescence is a critical life stage. In fact, during ages 11-20, the foundation for who your child will become is laid out. It is your responsibility as a parent to guide your teen through the turbulent tides of adolescence and guide them onto the shores of happy adulthood. Here are ways that you can support your adolescent through the challenging teen years and help them become happy productive adults.

Be there– Teens may act like they don’t need you, but they really do. Create space for honest non-judgmental conversations. Take time to listen to them and get to know them properly. This will increase the trust in your relationship, and they’re less likely to rebel against the good advice that you give.

Reduce the rules – Rules are great but set them only when necessary. Your home shouldn’t resemble a military boot camp. Enforce the rules with respect and always make sure your teen realizes the consequences of different actions.

Set expectations– Help your teen be his/her best self. Be clear about what you expect from your teens such as good grades, acceptable behavior, tidiness, and the type of friends they keep. By setting appropriate expectations, you’re helping your teen become more responsible.

Walk the talk– You’re the first example of an adult that your teen sees, therefore you need to set a good example for your teens and embody the kind of adult you want them to become. Remember that your teen is always watching, so adopt positive habits.

Encourage self-care– Adolescence is filled with a lot of pressure and activities, which is why you need to inculcate the value of a good diet, less screen time, exercise, mental health and getting proper sleep in your teen. Teach them to always put themselves first.

Affirm them constantly– Always tell your teenagers they’re amazing. This helps them develop confidence in themselves, which is crucial because as they grow older, self-doubt begins to creep in, and hearing positive affirmations from you will go a long way in developing their self-worth.

Expand their world- Adolescence is a great time for broadening horizons. Encourage your teen to explore all their interests, take part in activities they’re curious about, visit new places and gain new experience. Your teen will benefit immensely from exposure to all these different ideas, places and cultures and grow into a well-rounded adult who’s equipped to tackle challenges.

If you could use some help talking with your teenager, consider family therapy. A therapist can facilitate effective communication and offer tools that will help your teen become the adult they are meant to be.

If you’d like to explore therapy, please be in touch. I’d be happy to discuss how I might be able to help you.

Nov 25
Love0

Coping with the Holidays After Loss

By Depression, General, Grief No Comments

For many people, the holidays are about spending time with loved ones. But for those who have suffered a recent loss, the holidays can be painful and isolating.

Here are some ways you can cope with the holidays after a loss:

Recognize You are Not Alone

It’s easy to feel as though you are the only one experiencing great pain during the holiday season. Everywhere you turn, people seem to be happy, putting up decorations, buying gifts and making holiday plans. It’s important to recognize the truth right now, and that is that you are not alone. There are people all over the world who have experienced loss, some perhaps very recently.

Honor Your Pain

No one expects you to feel joyful and in the holiday mood right now, so don’t feel as though you must pretend for others’ sake. It is very important that you honor whatever emotions you may be experiencing, whether it’s sadness, anger, regret or a combination.

Take Your Time

The holidays are usually a busy time for people. There is much to accomplish and many events to host and/or attend. You do not have to keep your normal schedule this year. You simply will not have the mental or emotional stamina for it. So take the time you need. If you don’t feel like attending many (or any) events this year, that is fine. People will understand.

Help Others in Need

One of the worst parts about losing a loved one is the feeling that we no longer have any control over our lives. Loss makes us feel helpless. One way to fight this feeling is to help others who are in need. As a bonus, connecting with others who are hurting can often be a salve on our hearts as well.

When Don’t These Guidelines Apply?

If you have children, it’s important to understand that they are looking to you right now to know what life will be like from now on. To a child, the loss of a parent or sibling can frighten them terribly. Though you may not at all feel like celebrating the holidays, doing so helps your child know that life does go on and that there is space in your life to feel joy along with sadness.

 

If you have experienced loss and would like to explore grief counseling, please be in touch. You don’t have to suffer alone.

Nov 23
Love0

Intuitive Eating During COVID-19

By Nutrition No Comments

COVID-19 can be compared to freshmen year of college – it’s stressful, you feel overwhelmed, and it’s way too easy to pack on an extra 15 pounds! Many of us, having been stuck at home and dealing with stress for the past 4-5 months, have found our eating habits have taken a nosedive.

So how do we remedy this?

Many of us are still in lockdown mode and still dealing with the fear and stress of the pandemic. Are we supposed to try and put ourselves on a strict diet so we can lose weight and get healthy? Strict diets almost never work for most people, particularly when they are dealing with a stressful situation.

A far better solution is to turn to intuitive eating.

What is Intuitive Eating Exactly?

Intuitive Eating is an evidenced-based, mind-body nutritional approach that helps people honor their body and their health. By listening to the body and giving it what it needs nutritionally, you are able to meet your physical and psychological needs.

Now let’s talk about what intuitive eating is NOT.

It is NOT a diet or a specific food plan. It is not something where you restrict certain foods or count calories, carbs, or macros. Dieting and food restriction has never worked long-term. It is not sustainable.

But intuitive eating IS sustainable. This is not a diet but a new way to become self-aware and practice self-love and self-care.

How Does it Work?

Most diets put foods into one of two categories: Spinach goes into the “good” category and cake goes into the “bad” category. Intuitive eating gives a person permission to view all food as good and to eat whatever you like because you are trusting your body to tell you what it wants and needs. Anytime we can tune out the exterior world and tune into ourselves, we are far more apt to find balance and optimal health.

Getting Started

There are a few steps I always recommend clients take to get started with intuitive eating.

1. Start Listening

From a young age, we’re taught to listen to others. But rarely is a young person taught how to tune into themselves. It’s time you start. Check-in with yourself throughout the day to see how you are feeling and what you are thinking. Just begin to listen to your own inner voice more over the coming days and weeks.

2. Drop Those Judgements

What foods have you been told are an absolute no-no? Red meat? Butter? Sugar? It’s time to start reevaluating what you have been told by others and let your body tell you what is “good” and “bad” for YOU.

3. Eat More

If you are someone who comes from a diet mentality that has had you eat less, try and eat more and see how your body responds. Remember, you want to really LISTEN to what your body tells you. Eat 3 meals a day and 2-3 snacks. Do you find you’re still hungry? Do you find you get full easily?

Intuitive eating works and it can help you if you’re dealing with stress eating from COVID. If you need any help or guidance with this new lifestyle, don’t hesitate to get in touch.

 

SOURCES:

Nov 20
Love0

3 Tips to Get You on the Right Side of Calm

By Anxiety No Comments

They say you can wake up on the wrong side of the bed. But many days it feels like you woke up on the wrong side of calm. And who can blame you? Life seems to have gotten more complicated, stressful and chaotic, making it more difficult to feel peaceful and calm.

But there are things you can do each day to get yourself on the right side of calm. Here are 3 of them:

1. Breathe Deeply

Many people are shallow breathers, meaning they take small, short breaths. But did you know shallow breathing is actually part of the “fight or flight” response?  It’s an evolutionary adaptation designed to keep us safe from danger, like that angry sabretooth tiger chasing us. When faced with danger, our heartbeat speeds up and we breathe faster in order to get more oxygen for fighting or fleeing.

Our bodies don’t recognize real danger (that tiger) from modern day danger (that stack of bills). And so we spend most days breathing like our life depends on it.

One of the quickest ways to calm yourself is to slow down your breathing. Many people scoff at the idea that breathing deeply and slowly will do much of anything. Those that try it know deep breaths have an incredible calming affect.

2. Get Familiar with Your Acupressure Points

There are key acupressure points located on your hands, face, and head. These points are near bundles of nerves that, when massaged or tapped, can help relax your entire nervous system.  This is why we instinctively rub our forehead and temples when we’re feeling stressed. You can subtly apply pressure to the meaty part of the hand between the thumb and forefinger when in a stressful meeting, at the airport, or any public setting when you need to calm down but don’t want to call much attention to yourself.

3. Focus on the Positive Things in Your Life

Every night before you fall asleep, think about three things that happened that day you are grateful for. They can be small, like that parking spot in front of the always-busy post office you got this morning, or big, like your son’s ankle was sprained not broken.

Feeling happy and grateful will naturally calm you down and give you a different perspective on things. And, doing this exercise night after night will train your brain to be more positive.

Have you tried these tips in the past but are still dealing with persistent anxiety and worry? Therapy can help you uncover the root cause of your anxiety and provide tools for coping.

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

Nov 20
Love0

Why Therapy for Caretakers is More Important Than Ever

By General No Comments

Research has shown that roughly 80% of long-term care in this country is provided by family members. Many of these caregivers have their own families to look after and may also be holding down at least one job.

In addition, family caregivers have been shown to ignore their own health and wellness needs. This often leads to caregiver burnout, which is typically defined as a state of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. Caregivers who reach this burnout stage often experience stress, fatigue, sadness, grief, isolation guilt, anxiety, and depression.

Some other symptoms of caregiver burnout include:

  • Withdrawing from others
  • Loss of interest in activities and hobbies
  • Feeling irritable and helpless
  • Changes in appetite, weight, or both
  • Changes in sleep
  • Compromised immune system
  • Extreme fatigue
  • Excessive use of alcohol or drugs

 

Causes of Caregiver Burnout

Caregivers become easily lost in the person they are caring for and forget that they themselves have needs and wants. Being so busy, they, often without thought, neglect their own mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health and wellbeing.

They also deal with huge challenges and emotions each day, and often without help from anyone else. They push their feelings down so they may remain strong for their loved one who is usually battling a significant health crisis of their own.

 

Counseling Can Be a Lifesaver for Caregivers

Struggling on your own won’t help you or your loved one. It’s important that you get the help you need and deserve.

Talking with someone who will listen compassionately and give you advice and coping tools can take a huge burden off your shoulders.

But perhaps most importantly, a therapist will validate what you are experiencing. This is helpful because you yourself are denying your own existence and your own pain. This is how you have been managing.

A therapist is in your corner. He or she is your champion and will say the things you won’t allow yourself to say. They will point out your own humanity and the need for you to take care of yourself. Hearing this from a neutral third party can often be very helpful.

If you would like to speak with someone, please reach out to me. I want to help you not feel so powerless or isolated.

 

SOURCES:

Sep 04
Love0

4 Stay-Fit Tips for People Who Hate Exercise

By Nutrition, Sports / Exercise No Comments

Hate exercising? You’re definitely not alone.

It seems that each year, millions of people around the country start off with good intentions, committing to an exercise plan, only to quit completely a few weeks later.

Look, we understand, exercising is not easy. It’s hard work, but it’s hard work that’s really important for your health and overall well-being. And we want to make sure the next time you commit to an exercise plan, you STAY committed.

So, with that in mind, here are 4 tips that will help you stay fit, even when you hate exercise:

Tip #1: Have Fun

No one says you have to go to the gym 5 days a week and do circuit training. If you hate going to the gym, then find something you actually enjoy doing. Do you like swimming? Hiking? Kayaking? Dancing? Playing basketball? There are PLENTY of ways you can get your body moving, condition your heart while building some lean muscle. Find something you love to do and you’ll actually do it more.

Tip #2: Give Yourself Some Time

The science is out and it says that it takes roughly 30 days for a human being to form a new habit. So you can expect that days 1-29 are going to be challenging to ensure you work out. That’s okay. Just be sure to give yourself adequate time to allow this new habit to form. If you do, you’ll find it does indeed get easier to incorporate exercise into your life.

Tip #3: Build Exercise into Your Daily Life

Some people will swear until they are blue in the face that “they just don’t have time for exercising.” Well, you can easily make time if you build exercise into your life. For instance, if you try and spend time with the family each day, why not get the family to go on a family bike ride after dinner?

If you need to spend an hour each day reading through student papers, why not read through them while on the stationary bike? There are ways you can kill 2 birds with one proverbial stone, so look for ways to do it in your own life.

Tip #4: Take Baby Steps

Too many people make HUGE goals that are simply unrealistic. For example, someone may make a goal to lose 40 pounds in 3 months. Well, that’s not only unrealistic, but it’s also not even healthy.

Someone else may have a goal of running a marathon in 3 months. Well, if you’ve never run a day in your life, that’s also not very realistic.

When starting out, set small goals that you can easily achieve. As an example, your first goal may be to consistently swim for half an hour, three days a week for one month. That’s very doable. And when you reach a goal, it gives you confidence in your abilities and energy to keep going and reach even more goals.

If you follow these 4 tips, you will be able to stick to an exercise plan and see positive results from your efforts. Who knows? You may even learn to LIKE exercising.

 

SOURCES:

Sep 01
Love0

How Learning Disabilities Affect a Child’s Mental Health

By Adolescents/Teens, Children, School & Academics No Comments

For many children and teens, learning disabilities are a frustrating part of life. Learning disabilities not only bring a sense of shame and isolation, but they can also lead to mental health issues in some children.

What Are Learning Disabilities?

According to the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), a learning disability is any disorder of the fundamental psychological processes involved in understanding or using language. These can ultimately result in difficulties thinking, listening, reading, writing, math, and spelling.

Learning disabilities are quite common among young children and teens. According to the NCES, of the 7 million students who receive special education services in the country’s public school system, 33% have at least one learning disability. Common learning disabilities children deal with are ADHD, dyscalculia (trouble with counting and numbers), dyslexia, and others.

Learning Disabilities and Mental Health Issues in Children and Teens

While a learning disability isn’t a mental health issue in and of itself, both are closely related. When children and teens have a delay in learning, they can feel as if their academic efforts aren’t paying off. They can feel like a failure and, if their classmates aren’t sensitive, they can also feel like the butt of many jokes. This puts children and teens with learning disabilities at a higher risk of developing anxiety and depression.

It’s important that parents and teachers of students with learning disabilities look for any signs of anxiety or depression. These may include:

  • Sudden fear
  • Worrying
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Irritability
  • Anger issues
  • Feelings of sadness and/or hopelessness
  • Changes in social behaviors (not spending time with friends)
  • Changes in appetite
  • Thoughts of harming themselves

Once any signs are noticed, parents should bring their child to a qualified mental health therapist. This professional will help the child manage their symptoms so they can better function at home and at school. Some sessions may include the parents while in other sessions, the therapist may want to work one-on-one with the child.

Many child psychologists use cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT) to help children become aware of their own thoughts and feelings and then change their thoughts, emotions, and reactions to challenges at home and at school. CBT helps a child become independent and evaluate whether their thoughts and feelings or logical or distorted.

Does your child or teen have a learning disability? Do you believe this disability has caused them to develop depression or anxiety? If so, and you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be happy to speak with you to see if I might be able to help.

SOURCES:

Aug 27
Love0

Balance Your Mood With Food: How Good Nutrition Supports Mental Health

By General, Nutrition No Comments

Our brains are magnificent machines: while the brain controls rudimentary yet complex functions like your heartbeat, breathing and motor functions, it also controls a multitude of other complicated tasks such as creating your thoughts and feelings. A machine this advanced, that runs 24/7, clearly requires fuel to run. The fuel you supply to your hard-working brain is none other than the food and drink you consume.

Like any other machine, the quality of your brain function is relative to the quality of the fuel you put in it. Foods rich in nourishment such as complex carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals and antioxidants help stabilize blood sugar levels while increasing your brain’s energy. When it comes to feeding the brain, you get back what you put in.

Selenium

Selenium is an important mineral that your body relies on to perform many of its basic functions. Studies have shown that people with a low amount of selenium in their diet have an elevated rate of depression, irritability, and anxiety. While too little selenium causes health problems, too much can be toxic. According to the National Institute of Health, 55 mcg of selenium a day is the sweet spot for adults 19 years of age and older.

Brazil nuts are by far the most selenium-rich food available. An ounce (about 7 or 8) of brazil nuts contains 544 mcg of selenium per serving, so two or three brazil nuts a day is more than sufficient to get your RDA of selenium. You can also get your 55 mcg a day with 3 to 4 ounces of halibut, roasted ham, or shrimp. Cottage cheese, roast chicken, oatmeal, and eggs also contain moderate amounts of selenium, around 10 to 20 mcg per serving.

Folate (Folic Acid)

Studies have shown that an increased intake of folate or folic acid is associated with a lower risk of depression. Folate is found in a wide variety of food, with spinach, liver, yeast, asparagus, and brussels sprouts containing the highest levels. You can also get your recommended 400 mcg of folate with avocado, peanuts, orange juice, leafy green vegetables like spinach and kale, and whole grains, among many other foods.

Omega-3

Dopamine and serotonin are chemicals in the brain that are produced by nerve cells. Serotonin is a natural mood stabilizer, and dopamine controls your feelings of pleasure and reward. Omega-3 fatty acids have anti-inflammatory properties in them, and they effect the transmission of dopamine and serotonin. Omega-3 also has a role in brain development and function, with the ability to stabilize moods. Omega 3 foods include salmon, walnuts, soybeans, and chia seeds.

There are many other nutritious foods that will serve as prime fuel for your brain, helping you perform, feel and be at your very best. Using this list to help change your eating habits for the better is a great step in the right direction.

If you’re struggling with a mood disorder and would like some support and guidance to live a more balanced life, contact my office today so we can set up a time to talk.

Jul 31
Love0

5 Free Ways to Improve Your Mental Health

By General No Comments

When we talk about our mental health, we’re talking about much more than a clinical diagnosis. Your mental health also refers to your psychological well-being. Having a healthy psychological well-being means you’re able to better manage your emotions as well as your mood. Every day presents its unique challenges, and a healthy mental state can help you take challenges in stride.

1. Positive Affirmations

Repeating an affirmation can help you create a positive mental outlook that will be a driving force in your life. Use a search engine to look up “positive affirmations” and you’ll find several ideas of words and phrases that resonate with you, and things you struggle with. You can also try searching for something more specific, such as “positive affirmations for women” or “positive affirmations to improve self esteem”.

Repeat your phrase or phrases during meditation, either out loud or in your mind. Repeating affirmations or mantras during consistent meditation practices can help you overcome negative self-talk, which will greatly improve your mental health.

2. Gratitude

Practicing gratitude will sharpen your attention towards the positive aspects of your life. By focusing on what’s good, you’ll start to notice and appreciate other positive things in your life. Gratitude is more than just a feeling; it is a choice. By choosing to be grateful, you can keep your mind distracted from negative thoughts.

3. Eat Healthy

Eating healthy is a vital part of positive mental health. Eating a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, lean protein and whole grains will slowly release energy into your bloodstream, creating a consistent level of energy that won’t leave you feeling tired or sluggish. Eating healthy will also provide a mental boost because you’ll feel good about your healthy food choices.

4. Sunshine

Sunshine is a great way to boost your mood. Put on some comfortable walking shoes and take a leisurely walk around your neighborhood, or a local park. Exposure to sunlight will help your brain release serotonin which will boost your mood, and help you feel more calm and focused.

5. Get Some Sleep

A good night’s sleep is a vital part of a healthy lifestyle. When you’re well rested, you’re naturally energized. Regular sleep also boosts your immune system as well as your cognitive and mental health.

 

You have the power to improve your mood. By making some healthy additions to your daily routines, you can develop regular habits that will improve your overall mental well-being.

Are you having trouble staying positive or managing your moods? A licensed mental health professional can help you find better coping strategies, and offer additional support and guidance to help you live a more balanced life. Call my office today, and let’s schedule a time to talk.

Jul 29
Love0

How to Practice Self-Compassion

By Women's Issues No Comments

Most of us from a young age are taught how to be kind, considerate and compassionate toward others. But rarely are we told to show the same consideration to ourselves. This becomes even more true for individuals brought up in abusive or unloving homes.

What is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion is taken from Buddhist psychology and refers to how we can relate to the self with kindness. Self-compassion or self-love is NOT to be confused with arrogance or selfishness. In actuality, arrogance and selfishness stem from the absence of self-love.

But what does it really mean to be kind with ourselves? It means that on a day-to-day basis we are mindful of being courteous, supportive and compassionate with ourselves. Too many individuals treat themselves with harsh judgement instead of compassion.

Why is this important? Because self-compassion helps us recognize our unconditional worth and value. It allows us to recognize though we my sometimes make bad decisions, we’re not bad people.

Research, over the past decade, has shown the parallel between self care and psychological wellbeing. Those who recognize self-compassion also tend to have better connections with others, are reportedly happier with their own lives, and have a higher satisfaction with life overall. Self-compassion also correlates with less shame, anxiety and depression.

Now that you know the what and why of self-compassion, let’s look at the how.

How to Practice Self-Compassion

Treat Yourself as You Would a Small Child

You would never harshly judge or belittle a small child the way you do yourself. You would only want to help and love that child. When you begin to treat yourself as you would a small child, you begin to show yourself the same love, gentleness and kindness.

Practice Mindfulness

Every minute your mind is handling millions of bits of information, though you consciously are only aware of a few of them. This is to say we all have scripts or programs running in our minds 24/7. These scripts and programs are running our lives, insisting we have certain behaviors and make certain decisions.

Some of these scripts are the ones that tell us how “bad” or “unlovable” we are. They’ve been running since we were kids. The way to quiet these scripts is to become more mindful of your own mind.

When you begin to have a feeling or reaction to something, stop and ask yourself WHO is feeling that? Is it the compassionate self or the program running? If it’s the program, thank the program for what it has done and release it.

Good Will vs Good Feelings

Self-compassion is a conscious act of kindness we show ourselves; it’s not a way to alleviate emotional pain. Life happens, and we can’t always avoid negative or sad feelings. Never mistake self-compassion as a tool to ignore your deep and rich emotional life.

These are just a few ways you can begin to cultivate self-compassion. If you’d like to explore more options or talk to someone about your feelings of self-rejection and judgement, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how cognitive therapy may help.